Dear Ulta

Over the last four months I have been into Ulta 10 times (yes I was counting) from the express purpose of buying the product that should be in these two spaces. It has actually been on there 0/10 = 0% of those occasions.

When I ask about it the staff say that they have no input on ordering which is done by some automated central process,one that apparantly does not believe in keeping a supply of a product on hand even when it is shelf stable and has dedicated shelf space that cannot be used for any other purpose. Some uber-manager is probably really thrilled about how "efficient" this is.

I am told that I can try coming on Wednesdays when they restock and there may or may not be some of this product. Which makes me think that Ulta can go screw itself.  I try and support local brick-and-mortar stores even if they are chains, but if the feeling is not mutual Amazon here I come.

Boobvertising

If you looked at this advertisement, what do you think it would be promoting?

The answer is: breastfeeding.

Because those totally look like new mothers.

And sexualizing breasts is so helpful in normalizing breast feeding.

Beezin'

The first news report I saw on Beezin' made it perfectly clear that it was hoax report.  The idea is that kids are getting high by putting lip balm on their eyelids. The way I could tell it was fake was:
1) Putting lip balm on your eyelids will not make you high
2) It is clearly a version of the South Park satire "Cheesing" (from the episode "Major Boobage")

But due to the high level of apparently not giving a fuck amongst major news outlets, this story has been treated as real by a wide array of TV station and newspapers. The story seem particularly popular with Fox affiliate stations. Do they not have Google?

Feminism

Feminism is

the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities*

so any time you say

 "I am not a feminist, but..."

You are saying that YOU DO NOT BELIEVE

 that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities

Indiscriminate Collage Stylings

You just add some cursive text, ephemera, birds or flowers, distressing, lace patterns or whatever.  Easy, right? That's what passes for hand crafts or crafty styling these days. And what's wrong with that?

I mean look at the lovely mug.

Sure it is a low end crafty-crap mug made in bulk in China.  But it's pretty so long as you do not give a damn about where the elements smooshed together come from, what they mean, and whether putting them together makes one iota of sense to put them all together on a mug.

Oh, and that stamp?

It's Hitler.

"Monokini"

I would like to go on the record as saying: there is not such thing as a monokini.  And even if there was, it would not be this:

Firstly, this is and will always be a swimsuit.  Or whatever you culture calls a swimsuit. In my case as a New Zealander: togs. It was called that before there were bikinis and there is no reason to stop calling that after there were bikinis.

Secondly, the 'bi' in bikini does not mean 'two" (as in two pieces).  It was named after the site of an A Bomb test at the Bikini Islands. Which are named, best as anyone can tell, after the shape of texture of a coconut ("pikinni").

And thirdly, some one already coined the neologism "monokini" back in 1960 to refer to wearing only the bottom part of a bikinis, a.k.a. topless bikini.

Thus endeth the rant.