Quote from the Man who got C-sized breast implants on a bet and kept them for 19 years

 "It hasn’t hurt my ability to get girls. They don’t give a shit.”  -- Brian Zembic

Boobvertising

If you looked at this advertisement, what do you think it would be promoting?

The answer is: breastfeeding.

Because those totally look like new mothers.

And sexualizing breasts is so helpful in normalizing breast feeding.

A perfume inspired by a bra, FFS

A fragrance inspired by a garment inspired by boobs.
Apparently that means smelling of flowers and wood.

American Apparel always liked to show a little skin and boob, but in the absence of boob it feels a bit pedophilic.

Nipples Dress

That dress by Rachel Freire, what there is of it, is apparently made from cow nipples.  Specifically the bits of the skin not normally used because nipples are on them (close up here). I am not sure why many considered this a big deal.  If using leather is normal this is just using the off cuts.

Maybe people just like to type the word nipple.

Nipple, nipple, nipple.

Nipple.

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The rule is that if a girl can hold a pencil under her breast, it's time to get a bra.  I don't know what it means if you can shoplift shoes under your boobs, and I don't want to know.

I can't tell....

This is satire, right?

A company with the tag line: "The natural look is back!"

Selling fake nipples.

Jingle Jugs

This is, um, weird. A trophy display of bikini-clad (bikini apparently removeable) boobs that moves and sings  "Titties & Beer" by Rodney Carrington. 

The tag line is: "The Trophy Rack He's Always Wanted!"

If 'he' is a mammary obsessed serial killer in training, of course. Or is trying to buy a Real Doll on the installment plan.

"... you can use the included stand to put them on a flat surface, like the Thanksgiving table centerpiece." (Just to add to the 'freshly carved' I'm-a-comple-psycho with no social boundaries ambience.)

A Jug of Wine (or two)

Omar Khayyam wrote "a jug of wine, a loaf of bread-and thou..." 

Baron Bob seems to take this literally with 'the wine rack' a bra-slash-beverage container that can hold up to a bottle of wine, depending--presumably--on what you are already packing.

Breast Ironing

Breast ironing is a practice performed with the goal of slowing or preventing breast development in young girls (short explanatory video here). It is particularly common in the country of Cameroon where and estimated 24 to 26% undergo this abuse.  Breast ironing often involves the use of heat, such as pressing with fire-heated rocks.  The practice is painful and often disfiguring, it is clearly child abuse and so unacceptable--it is in fact illegal in Cameroon.

For some reason this issue is getting a lot of comment across the blogosphere right now.  And I see little point to the common online response of "how could they do that, the monsters!"  Horror and repudiation might feel good, but what does it achieve?  The only answer is education. And education is not delivered with the stick of elitist moralising. These parents clearly need to be convinced that they have alternatives.

(If nothing else work they could try telling them Mel Gibson agrees with them that breast lead to rape, that would change my mind)
Basically women in area of countries like Cameroon live in an environment where unprotected sex in general, and rape in particular, are common.  Unplanned pregnancies are disastrous as the girl must leave school and so lose her main opportunity for escaping poverty.

The parents think that young girls are much less likely to attract sexual interest or have sexual feelings.  It seems to be a general cultural belief that sex of any kind is not okay with any girl who has not developed breasts.  So when they see breast development in girls as young as nine, approximately half of them resort to this abussive practice to try and prevent the development of the breasts.

The only one really doing anything about it is Renata (National Network of Aunties Associations) and they can't take outrage to the bank.

Portuguese Playboy Jesus

I guess we are supposed to be shocked by the Portguese Playboy's photo-epitaph for the author Jose Saramago. Or maybe we are meant to be smugly aware of not being shocked because we are all people of the world.

I get that this is the author of O Evangelho Segundo Jesus Cristo / The Gospel According to Jesus Christ which depicted a very human Christ. I am just not entirely sure how this translated to some very run of the mill shots of Jesus amongst the boobies.

Jesus doesn't look very Jesusy. The shots don't seem very well composed, and worse of all--even the boobs aren't being dsiplayed to best advantage. Shame on you Portuguese Playboy, be as sacriligous as you want, but remember the main point of the pictures.

Make nice pictures of nice boobies.

Okay?

See also:

• Playboy cover archive
• All three pictures

Evony, Evolution of a Mammary Fixation

I don't have anything against breasts, other than my rib-cage obviously. But I am getting rather sick of seeing them all over my favorite web-sites courtesy of Evony. The early ads were of your normal fantasy man with a sword. Then Boobarella arrived. She shows signs of using rather a lot of peroxide and lycra (and silicone) for a game that previously seemed to be set in a feudal, pre-industrial world.

Boobarella must have gone over rather well, for she quickly appeared in similar ads, with less clothing. That bra doesn't really look like it is covered with hand-made lace does it. Oh, you weren't focusing on the lingerie? Perhaps you are more Evony's target demographic than I am.

If you were in any doubt, here is third in the series. It provides a much closer look at that lovely bra. I can only assume that the next ad with have a 3D rendering of "come play" animated so it appears to be motor-boating between the the breasts of Lady Bounteous.

Oy.

Single Breasted Jacket

I beg to differ....