"Skull"

Fun, but not Too Fun

So do the parents draw like children, or d they encourage their kids to stand in high counters to doodle on the high up chalkboard?

"Not Your Mother's" is the new "New Black".

What the fucking fuck, Sunkist/IMW Agency.  These are in fact my mother's grapefruit.  These are in fact the same grapefruit as grapefruit have been since 1875 when they were accidentally invented by an orange and a pomelo tree requiting their sweet yet tangy forbidden love.

The ALLCAPs MODERN grapefruit is the same fucking grapefruit our mothers ate, the exact same one.

And do you know what does in fact smell distinctly of the era when my mother was a wee girl.  This patronizing princessification of a fruit, replete with every stereotypic bullshit women have had to put up with since... well, long before grapefruit were invented.

IMW has decided to: "Modernize Grapefruit and make it more relevant to today’s health-conscious young woman [because their mothers, by contrast were surprisingly pro-death-and-disease]. In addition, make the message fun and engaging [and not at all pseudo-scientific gender-stereotyped bullshit], and develop a campaign to educate [those ignorant] women that grapefruit is more than a diet…it’s a Superfood [Holy random capital letter, Batman. That word doesn't actually mean fuck all but they are too dumb to notice, right?]. IMW created an integrated marketing program that featured new health benefits targeted to the segment: full of antioxidants and vitamins; promotes heart health [in unspecified ways]; may reduce the risk of certain cancers [or, you know, may not]; and promotes healthy skin [because all gals really care about is not getting zits or wrinkles, right?]."

Skating pretty close to making an FDA-forbidden health claim right there. What next? Not your Dad's grapefruit.  How would that go: "Modernize Grapefruit and make it more relevant to today’s fitness-conscious young men. In addition, make the message fun and engaging, and develop a campaign to educate men that grapefruit is more than an mixed martial arts training regime …it’s an Aphrodisiac. IMW created an integrated marketing program that featured new health benefits targeted to the segment: full of fiber and riboflavins; promotes charisma; may reduce the risk of baldness; and promotes healthy beard growth."

Jumping the Hammer-Shark

Calvin Klein: Untruth in Advertising

Calvin Klein has been Adsense-stalking me for the last few days.  And I have to say I find their advertisements baffling.  I guess I just do not understand how the English language intersects with "fashion"?

First there was this:

Find your fit.  Where "fit" means trousers that expose too much ankle, a shirt just the wrong length to wear either tucked in or shirt-tails out, with sleeves you need to roll up.  Huh?

But, you know, whatever.  Then there was this:

The "denim series" of "jeans" that is a pair of sweatshirt-material shorts.  Now they are just taking the piss, right?

Boobvertising

If you looked at this advertisement, what do you think it would be promoting?

The answer is: breastfeeding.

Because those totally look like new mothers.

And sexualizing breasts is so helpful in normalizing breast feeding.

I suggest we give Wartune what they are asking for:

No female or pro-female customers.

Milk Pinups

Link

Wow

This advertising is tasteless on so many simultaneous levels; I just....

A beer ad that is pro-gay

Kudos to Miller Lite (ad shown in Australia).

They should still make this:

Vintage Bra Ad

Text: I dreamed I was a knockout in my maidenform bra.

The Latest Way AT&T Pissed Me Off

I am an AT&T customer purely because they were the only available carrier when I got my iPhone and I have been too lazy to change.  But I may get around to it sooner rather than later.

It is annoying enough that I can get no reliable signal to my phone anywhere inside my own apartment.  A problem none of my visitors who use other carrier seem to have. This is kind of a high priority for me when it comes to phone carrier satisfaction.

But AT&T also has this smarmy habit of sending mail that is designed to look like the address was hand-written, to fool you into thinking it is real mail.  And when you open it up is is emblazoned with overly familiar greetings like "HI!" and invitation to chat with someone called David.

Here is what I want:

Dear AT&T

Hi!

I don't want to buy any other services from you and I do not want to chat with David about high speed internet or cable. 

I do want to be able to send and receive phone calls from inside my own residence.

Do you think may be you could stop sending me full-color deceptively package junk mail and get onto that?

Sincerely

Emily

The Case for Manual Ad Checking

I am all for advertisements including as many scantily clad figures as the advertiser may desire.  But I think a case could be made for manually checking where these ads appear, or at least ensuring they don't appear on pages with words like "rape" on them.

This would avoid a page that opens with "Sydney man studied how to be serial rapist"...

...would not be emblazoned with a tower advertisement featuring a scantily-clad female figure and the words "your body is my party, let's get started".

Hmm, Tasty

I don't know about you, but what this ad says to me is: "Our tacos are as tasty as a sweaty footballer's crotch".

American Apparel always liked to show a little skin and boob, but in the absence of boob it feels a bit pedophilic.