Saturday, December 26, 2009

Is that a clock in your pocket...?

Sometimes the Family Circle writer strike me as, well, rather naive. I mean, if you think the Happy Hot Dog is happy at 8:55, imagine him at 7:40.

And if you think that's an accident, remember this is a clock from "Naked Decor", maker of the terrorist teapot.

Edited to Add: Apparently I am not the only one to notice (see comments section).

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Somewhere in the Pinnacle Art Department in the early 80s

So we want you to make a cover where he looks really, like, manly--you know. Because this guy is the ultimate he-man. He is... the Penetrator!

Um, he's what?

He's the Penetrator. And he is super macho so have him being super macho with a bimbo.

You mean fucking her?

Oh, God no. But there should be a half naked woman looking like she's really asking for it. And he should be there being really masculine. Like shooting a gun or something.

Shooting a gun at a naked woman?

Oh, God no. Just shooting a gun with something threatening there like a black guy shaking his fist, and there's a naked woman, and like... pointy stuff, pointing at her. Like all subtle and symbolic of how macho he is because....

He's the Penetrator.




Okay, that thing you did last time was okay, but a bit subtle.

A bit subtle?!
Yeah, I mean this guy, he's the Penetrator. And he is super macho so have him being super macho and a guy being shot.

Wouldn't that imply he was fucking the guy?

Oh, God no. There should be a half naked woman looking like she's really asking for it. And he should be there being really masculine; I mean REALLY manly. Like shooting a gun and holding a bomb or something. Make it really clear. And this women she's been shot....

You mean symbolically?
No, she's actually been shot. In the shoulder so you can sort of show part of her booby. That'll be sexy. There will be the woman who's been shot and the black guy being shot, and him with a gun being like the perfect man.

Because he's the Penetrator.



See also:
6 Very Unfortunate Book Covers

Monday, December 7, 2009

Mantitty Covers

...not a modern invention:

"Dan complained about the constant sexual harassment from the gorgeous women who flocked around him. Cynics remarked that if it really bothered him so much, he would put on a shirt."

Not really, but the real blurb is pretty dull.

Harlequin reprints pulps, sort of

I love pulp paperbacks, seedier the better. It is part of what is interesting about them--the context in which they are published and the way gender, race, age and other subjects are handled and mishandled. The sad thing is that inexpensive paperbacks are not made to last, and they don't. Many in my collection are literally in the process of decomposing.

I think it is wonderful that many presses, large and small and even via self-publishing, are making vintage paperback available again. And I was pleased to hear that Harlequin was reviving some if its yellowback backlist--until I heard that this included censoring the non-politically correct parts for a "modern audience".

"...behavior—such as hitting a woman—that would be considered totally unacceptable now was quite common sixty years ago. Scenes of near rape would not sit well with a contemporary audience, we were quite convinced. We therefore decided to make small adjustments to the text, only in cases where we felt scenes or phrases would be offensive to a 2009 readership"

I am as left-wing and feminist as they come, but a reprinted books should not be airbrushed to remove its historical roots and original intent. This shows no respect whatsoever for the original author, the genre and age to which he (or occassionally she) belonged, or the audience. We know that sensational genres sometimes appeal to lurid interests, we know that over time the interests have changed, and we know that reprinted books come from a previous era. So keep your sticky editing fingers out of our pulps...

We can handle the truth.

See also:
* As if Harlequin Wasn't In Enough Trouble
* Censorship and Bowdlerization at Harlequin.
* The Big Slap in the Big Sleep