4Chan Heaven

She was an enormous floating head,

he was a man on a black horse.

It was a match made in 4Chan Heaven!

Yes, she is totally in the foreground.

I am woman

And if I don't feel like roaring, I am not bloody going to do it.

Inflated

The Price of Happiness

He was a wealthy orthodontist. He had a mansion; he had a sports car; he had perfect hair. He needed just one more thing to be truly happy.

A girlfriend whose mouth was filled with a single, gleaming, giant white tooth.

Over Easy

It can be quite disconcerting to look up from your breakfast and find a posturing bikini-clad model splashing around in the inner-city fountain immediately outside your window.

At least the weather was warm. 

Models seem to go on a lot about being cold.

I suppose being stared at by random strangers just comes with the territory.

Really, Cracked? Really?

On the first page of a humor piece about online gaming this appears.

Not only is it totally unrelated to the topic of the article, it seems to be a jocular cartoon about child sexual abuse.

I mean, doesn't it? What else could it be referring to? Please tell me I'm wrong?

Something got lost in translation...

...when they made this Teletubby zentai.

For the purposes of comparison:

Hizamakura Lap Pillow

This actually isn't a sex toy, per se. Go figure.

Meanwhile in New Zealand

Alasdair Thompson, chief executive of the Employers and Manufacturers' Association (EMA), had an explanation for why women earn less then men.

Apparently it is because: "Women take more sick leave than men," due to their "monthly sick problems".

If you live on this planet and in this millennium you may have trouble understanding what this time-traveler from the Victorian era is referring to, specifically menstruation. He seems to think women routinely take days off when menstruating.

I imagine he is also concerned about the females' voluminous petticoats getting caught in the looms.

It seems that this asshat is going to resign.

My heart bleeds for him.

Perhaps I should take the day off.