Beauty

I have decided to be an expert in "beauty", because this is apparently a good way to get free stuff.  I shall henceforth say "beauty" quite a lot.  Not that I am sure what "beauty" is as a category.  I think it may be code for "unnecessary products for insecure women".

But I still want it.

Simple

I am not entirely sure what is happening to the word "Simple", at least in relation to women.

Real Simple magazine seems to be mainly about making pointless things, buying pointless things, and following trends. And men, well, they are actively dis-invited from reading it.

And Simple cleansing comes in wipes in a plastic container.

That said, I have them because I used Klout and got offered them as a free "perk"--which isn't actually very simple to begin with.

And I kind of liked them, and I liked the idea of simple natural ingredients.

Above the fold is says: vitamins, alcohol (no oils), no perfumes or dyes.

Then, under the fold of the packaging seal I read the ingredients:

• water (okay)
• cetearyl isononanoate
• panthernol, 
• glycerin, 
• glyceryl stearate, 
• cetearyl alcohol, 
• ceteareth-20, 
• ceteareth-12,  
• sodium citrate, 
• 2-bromo-2-nitroprpane-1,3-diol, 
• disodium EDTA, 
• phenoxyethanol, 
• methylparaben, 
• propylparaben (what?)

If that's simple, I'd hate to see complicated.

Dear Klout and Boticca

Twenty-five dollars off a forty dollar purchase is not a "credit".

A credit is a "balance in a person's favor in an account"--not a reduction in cost.

This offer is, at best, a coupon.