Thursday, February 25, 2010

Catalog Craziness

I made the mistake of ordering some clothing online. Now I am being absolutely buried in catalogs for cheap clothing and other tat, sent to both my home and work address. And not only is this stuff awful, it is weird.

Let's start with the clothing. Do you remember the eighties? More importantly do you remember them as a period of fashion greatness? because clearly these companies do. They have revived that unredeemable idea of the "bubble skirt" and melded it with the already independently awful idea of the polyester skirtsuit. "Removeable faux-leather belt included!"

And just to prove that the eighties is still going on in Catalogland, the current "It jean" (jeans, peeps, it's a fracking plural) is has a high waist, loose fit, is ashed to a pastel blue, with faux wear and rolled hems.  (Flashdance flashback alert!)
But here things get even more confusing. Not only are these catalogs stuck on the eighties with its plastic bangles, it seems they need to let me know that I can also buy this lovely blouse in "womens". Um, it doesn't exactly look like a dude's style as it is?

Now you might try to convince me that "womens" he is short for "womens sizes" a eupehmism for larger sizes (the opposite of "petites").  But I am not falling for this for two reasons.

One, what store is going to insult their medium to small sized customers by implying the are not real "women"...

and two, look at this next picture on the right. The phrase "boyfriend" before a piece of clothing indicates a relaxed fit and masculine style--like a piece of clothing a woman borrowed from her boyfriend.  And I ask you, how many people of the male persuasion would wear a shirt in any way resembling this thing?

No, I am forced to conclude that catalogs comne from an alternatuve universe where time and gender don't work like the do in the real world.  And that is before I even get to the religious products, I mean I have to save something from my next post (draft title: Cleavage for Christ).

1 comment:

David Tulloch said...

Cleavage for Christ
Sounds like a good pulp novel title.

She was a busty woman who knew her way around men, but when she put her assets to work in the service of the Lord there was going to be hell to pay.