Monday, August 23, 2010

The Cuglies

There is ugly, pug ugly and fugly... and then there is cugly.  A brand of ugly found only in clothing catalogs, rendered even more mind boggling that even on attractive models, and with reckless use of Photoshop, it still looks this bad.  Rest assured should you go temporarily insane and buy this thing, it will look even worse in the privacy of your own home. The only scenario that makes this... shirt (?) in any way explicable it as follows.

Bob: "Oh shit, Benny.  You know that multiple-choice checklist we send to our sweat shops?"

Benny: "Yeah, so?"

Bob: "It looks like we accidentally ticked every single collar option on the gray blouse.  Now we have ten thousand blouses with six different kinds of collar, and a bow."

Benny: "Is that all? Our customers are, pretty much by definition, devoid of any style of sense.  They probably won't even notice."

Bob: "You're right, lets pair it the gray suit with the giant bow on the shoulder."

Benny: "Whoa boy, if you put to much polyester on the upper torso it can create a spontaneous singularity and bring about the end times. Don't you remember the Rayon Housecoat Crisis! We ended up having to convince people that Texas always looked like that."

Bob: "You're right Benny.  Thanks for talking me down there."

Benny: "Any time, Bob.  Any time.  Now hand me that bag of polyester lace shoulder pads and the hot glue gun.  I have a hundred bolero jackets to bedazzle before quitting time."

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