Upcoming Penetrator Review

Well, it seems Boone has called me on my threat to post a review of a book from the Penetrator series.  And if I mist read one, I think this is the one.  The cover alone promises...

• An erupting volcano.
• A luxurious moustache
• A beautiful blonde
• A vampire
• A man falling to his death
• and a hero with deformed butt cheeks.

I mean, seriously, what is going on with this dude's butt?

A Jug of Wine (or two)

Omar Khayyam wrote "a jug of wine, a loaf of bread-and thou..." 

Baron Bob seems to take this literally with 'the wine rack' a bra-slash-beverage container that can hold up to a bottle of wine, depending--presumably--on what you are already packing.

Breast Ironing

Breast ironing is a practice performed with the goal of slowing or preventing breast development in young girls (short explanatory video here). It is particularly common in the country of Cameroon where and estimated 24 to 26% undergo this abuse.  Breast ironing often involves the use of heat, such as pressing with fire-heated rocks.  The practice is painful and often disfiguring, it is clearly child abuse and so unacceptable--it is in fact illegal in Cameroon.

For some reason this issue is getting a lot of comment across the blogosphere right now.  And I see little point to the common online response of "how could they do that, the monsters!"  Horror and repudiation might feel good, but what does it achieve?  The only answer is education. And education is not delivered with the stick of elitist moralising. These parents clearly need to be convinced that they have alternatives.

(If nothing else work they could try telling them Mel Gibson agrees with them that breast lead to rape, that would change my mind)
Basically women in area of countries like Cameroon live in an environment where unprotected sex in general, and rape in particular, are common.  Unplanned pregnancies are disastrous as the girl must leave school and so lose her main opportunity for escaping poverty.

The parents think that young girls are much less likely to attract sexual interest or have sexual feelings.  It seems to be a general cultural belief that sex of any kind is not okay with any girl who has not developed breasts.  So when they see breast development in girls as young as nine, approximately half of them resort to this abussive practice to try and prevent the development of the breasts.

The only one really doing anything about it is Renata (National Network of Aunties Associations) and they can't take outrage to the bank.

Werewolf Nipples

I know enough about Twilight to realise that there is nothing at all odd about Barbie Jacob going sans shirt. I was, however a little bemused by the lack of nipples.

I mean not even a subtle suggestion of nipplage. Its not like I was asking for the full Batman here, his torso is naked.

Back in primary school I remember being sent to the principal's office for drawing nipples. I had drawn a mermaid. The principal asked why she had nipples and I said that I thought mermaids must be mammals, so they would need nipples to nurse their young. At the time I had no idea why my desire for biological accuracy had been seen as requiring disciplinary action.

In a reverse proposition perhaps werewolves don't need nipples because they procreate by biting humans and turning them into werewolves? Although this still leaves open the question of why Spirit, so-called stallion of the Cimarron doesn't have a penis.

(Anatomy is dirty people, and don't you forget it)


See also:
the Naked Barbie Project

Peta doesn't give a damn about your so-called "feminism".

'[via Sociological Images]

Oh... but it gets worse:

[via the Bilerico Project]

Where have you gone Gloria Steinem, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you....

See also:

• Feminism, PETA, & Montréal

The Penetrator Reviews

I have decided to start collecting online review of books in "The Penetrator" series.  I don't know why.  Probably masochism.  But also because anyone insane enough to read one of these books generally has something funny/interesting to say about it. I will only add a review of my own of Boone delivers on his promised bad movies reviews.

The Penetrator #1: The Target is H

• Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot

The Penetrator #6: Tokyo Purple

• Bookgasm

The Penetrator #9: Dodge City Bombers

• Bookgasm 

The Penetrator #10: The Hellbomb Project:

• Mystery File.

The Penetrator #15: The Quebec Connection

• Karate Party
• Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot

Penetrator, No. 41: Hells Hostages

• Goodreads

What do Batman and Teddy Roosevelt have in Common?

So today my writer's groups failed to group (and, I suspect, also failed to write). Fortunately their lack of cohesion was apparent by Friday night. So I slept in, and then I got up and went to Borders (where we meet) anyway.

This was not entirely because I am a creature of habit--although I am, but it was too late to cancel the dog walker, so I thought I might as well go somewhere. It was also because I had a Borders gift card. And I have learned that I need to spend these things before I lose them, so--like--within about a week. (If you could see my apartment you would understand).

I had decided that I wanted to buy a copy of Persepolis by whats-er-name. I looked around hopelessly in the graphic novel section. I wasn't sure where to look because comics are shelved by character name, not author.  But anyway, I can't find it. So I went to the helpful staff person who told me it was shelved as memoir, upstairs.

So, there I am upstairs.  The equally helpful staff member upstairs tells me that all of the sections in Borders are shelved alphabetically by author, except one.  Because biograpy and memoir is shelved by the name of the subject of the book.  So if someone wants a biography of Teddy Roosevelt they can see them all together in one place. Those of you who were paying attention will know he wasn't quite right about that. 

I wanted to read Persepolis because I am trying to get over my bad attitude about these feminist memoir comics that are being embraced by the pretentious classes, who continue to think comic books in general are sexist pap of interest only to mouth-breathers with a spandex fetish and a single digit IQ.  Finding it being given special treatment (being shelved by genre not format) didn't help with that.

Human Furniture Video

Valley Lodge
"All of My Loving"
music video.



Directed by Dave & Rory. Produced by Margaux Ravis. Valley Lodge is Phil Costello, John Kimbrough, Rob Pfeiffer, Eddie Eyeball, and Dave Hill.

See also
Art :: Human Furniture by David Blázquez

Wither Playboy

After three solid decades of the perfect combo of hard journalism and soft porn, Playboy Magazine got its ass kicked by the internet and spiralled into decline. Since the eighties Playboy has struggled along on the back of a trashier mag and licensing fees.

Now Playboy seems to be at a branch in the road.  One option is Hugh Hefner taking the company private.  the other is a buy out by the class-free zone of  Friendfinder/Penthouse--one of the few outfits that could make the Heff look relatively refined.

I just hope that if Playboy goes private, Hefner does to.  I can respect a pinup mag with a pedigree, but his reality show is a boil on the butt of popular culture. In my (admittedly not-terribly-important) opinion, porn magnates should be obscene and not heard (or seen).

Glutes

So, there is a magazine devoted entirely to having a nice ass. ("Glutes" see below)

If this isn't a recognised sign of the end times, it should be.

Pinups With Books #1

There is often more to pinups than you might think. To demonstrate this I am going to take a slightly closer look at some of my favorite pinups and share them with new in a new occasional series: Pinups With Books.

This Gil Elvgren pinup is called "Rare Edition" (1962). The librarian is dropping a copy of a novel written the year before by a friend of the artist. Spirit Lake by MacKinley Kantor. The novel was by no means as light-hearted as the picture. It is a historical story centred on the 1857 Spirit Lake Massacre. (You can see photographs the first edition copy depicted in this painting here.)

An uprising by a group of Sioux resulted in the deaths of scores of settler and the abduction of thee women and a girl. Two survived including then 14-year-old Abbie Gardner who later wrote a memoir of her experiences called: History of the Spirit Lake Massacre and Captivity of Miss Abbie Gardner.

Kantor is said to have owed a deep debt of gratitude to Charlotte Crosley, a librarian at the Kendall Young Library who encouraged his interest in history leading to the writing of over 40 novels, mostly historical fiction, including Andersonville which won him a Pulizer Prize in 1956--although many consider Spirit Lake to be his greatest work.

The Plight of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani

Today the Iran government magnanimously said they won't stone a woman to death.

They haven't said they won't execute this 43-year old woman. They haven't said they regrect having her flogged, 99 lashes while her then teenaged son watched. They see no problem with convicting her to death in 2007 for a consensual sex act, namely adultery. They just said that it wasn't true that they planned to bury her up to her neck in the ground and stone her to death this weekend.

Don't get me wrong, Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani  is not a saint.  The reports that repeatedly refer to her as a widow remind me somewhat of the old joke about thea man who killed his parents and then turned to the judge and said: "take pity on a poor orphan".

She was in a marriage that was, by all accounts, abusive. A man she knew killed her husband and she was deemed to be an accomplice, and they are both serving ten years. But that is not where the death sentence came in.  But she was sentenced to death because three of the five judges deemed that she had committed adultery.

A woman does not need to be perfect to deserve being saved from the horrible fate of being killed by stones carefully measured to ensure they will not kill her too quickly--not because of her involvement in a murder, but because of who she allegedly (in the absence of any real evidence) chose to have sex with.

For each person who comments on this post I will donate $1 to Amnesty Internation, up to a maximum of $50.

Amount raised so far: $5

AM Crenshaw is matching my donations dollar for dollar!

Please also visit:

• Save Sakineh [A Writer's House]
• Nausea. [Sharon Maas]

What you can do:
Send an email
Donate to Amnesty International

See also:
Document - Iran: Fears for prisoners on death row in Iran
Iran stonings are a legal nightmare

Portuguese Playboy Jesus

I guess we are supposed to be shocked by the Portguese Playboy's photo-epitaph for the author Jose Saramago. Or maybe we are meant to be smugly aware of not being shocked because we are all people of the world.

I get that this is the author of O Evangelho Segundo Jesus Cristo / The Gospel According to Jesus Christ which depicted a very human Christ. I am just not entirely sure how this translated to some very run of the mill shots of Jesus amongst the boobies.

Jesus doesn't look very Jesusy. The shots don't seem very well composed, and worse of all--even the boobs aren't being dsiplayed to best advantage. Shame on you Portuguese Playboy, be as sacriligous as you want, but remember the main point of the pictures.

Make nice pictures of nice boobies.

Okay?

See also:

• Playboy cover archive
• All three pictures