Bounce that Dick

Furry goes mainstream

What is with the new fad of animal shaped hats? Soft-core furrydom?

See also:

• People wearing animal heads freak me out

Who does it better...?

Marilyn Monroe

Lindsay Lohan

WTF Michaels?

Michaels thinks the best toy for Christmas is Santa's decapitated head...

with red sprinkles.

WTF, Man.

No presents this year, kids.

New Video: Cocaine

This this is... um... this.

Almond Paste Cookies

Must stop eating these, or no one else will get any

Lady Gaga as an oily mermaid; Sure, why not.

Link

AT&T Customer "Service"

Step 1:

• My land line is not receiving calls, I will let AT&T know.
• Oh, gee. A fully automated system. I will punch in the issue and my cell number.
• I wonder what will happen next?

Step 2:

• Come home from work.  Find a note say phone was not fixed because I was not there to let them in at 2pm on a Wednesday. Go figure.
• I guess that hang up call that didn't leave a message was the repair person. I will call the number he left.
• Oh look, this number is out of service.  I guess I will call the number I used before.
• I will choose the option for checking on a trouble order.
• Oh, this options doesn't actually let you check on a trouble order. I will stab the zero button until I get a person.
• The person says the ticket was closed because the phone was fixed.
• I will open a new ticket. It seems that the ticket automatically causes a person to come the next day, although it doesn't say that.  And if you aren't there they just pretend to have fixed the phone.
• Oh well, can we narrow down the time they will be there?
• 12 to 4, or 2 to 6pm.
• Yes, well.  How convenient. I guess I will just get up at 4am tomorrow in order to finish work by that time.

Sigh.

That's just wrong: Grapple

Apples with added grape flavor.  WTF?

His what?

From New Zealand News site "Stuff":

"In a Bonnie and Clyde-style stand-off, an Okato farmer pulled a sawn-off shotgun from the boot of his car and said: "Bro, you got five seconds to back off or I'm going to shoot you."

Right behind him on New Plymouth's Devon St West was his woman."

His woman.

His woman.

His woman.

Wow.

How I Love that Ass

She loved a rugged cowboy, 
but little did she know...
When he said "How I love that ass" 
he didn't mean his beau.

[Via Pulp International]

Dr Pepper Flunks the Test

How do you make a diet soda that appeals to men?

a) Paint the can gray
b) Make a video where a man punches a snake
c) Use the tag line: "It's not for women"
d) Make a diet soda that does not taste like anti-freeze.

Have a Three Wolf Moon Halloween....

Although, frankly, I would suggest going with the original, not the Target knock off.

Upcoming Movie: Hysteria

Nipples Dress

That dress by Rachel Freire, what there is of it, is apparently made from cow nipples.  Specifically the bits of the skin not normally used because nipples are on them (close up here). I am not sure why many considered this a big deal.  If using leather is normal this is just using the off cuts.

Maybe people just like to type the word nipple.

Nipple, nipple, nipple.

Nipple.

Look at the breasts on that one

It is not often that I get to put my 'animal' and 'pinup' tags on the same post.

New York Times Chicken Pinup

I can't quite decide

Does the new catwoman costume really suck?

Or do you just need at least a hint of some curves to carry it off?

Best Wardrobe Malfunction Since Janet Jackson

Sonny Bill / Rugby World Cup

The Riding Pant

The riding "pant".


According to Merriam-Webster this lady rides whilst

1. making puffing sound
2. longing eagerly, or
3. throbbing.

Any of the above might explain her unhappy expression and/or the interest of the horse in her groinal area.

[via Perceval's Fate]

Sigh

Kea Serial Killer

Some one is shooting the Keas, a much loved New Zealand parrot. A total of six dead birds have been found, out of an estimated total population of less than 1000.

I hope the cops catch this bastard soon.  An apt punishment might involve being staked out naked in Kea territory.

Another Book Dress

Albeit less literally so

[via Little Augury]

Dear "The Limited"

Assuming this is not a rhetorical question...

How far can you go

bareback on a horse

over cobbles

with no trousers on?

Not very far,

not very far at all.

Vogue Features 10-year-old Model

Not exactly looking.... 10.

Our ideal of high fashion beauty has officially become pre-pu-fucking-bescent.

French Vogue

A previous 'spread' for Cadeaux

See also:

• 10-Year-Old Vogue Model Sparks Controversy with Sexualized Photo Spread
• Is It Creepy That The Industry Is Obsessed With A 10-Year-Old?

4Chan Heaven

She was an enormous floating head,

he was a man on a black horse.

It was a match made in 4Chan Heaven!

Yes, she is totally in the foreground.

I am woman

And if I don't feel like roaring, I am not bloody going to do it.

Inflated

The Price of Happiness

He was a wealthy orthodontist. He had a mansion; he had a sports car; he had perfect hair. He needed just one more thing to be truly happy.

A girlfriend whose mouth was filled with a single, gleaming, giant white tooth.

Over Easy

It can be quite disconcerting to look up from your breakfast and find a posturing bikini-clad model splashing around in the inner-city fountain immediately outside your window.

At least the weather was warm. 

Models seem to go on a lot about being cold.

I suppose being stared at by random strangers just comes with the territory.

Really, Cracked? Really?

On the first page of a humor piece about online gaming this appears.

Not only is it totally unrelated to the topic of the article, it seems to be a jocular cartoon about child sexual abuse.

I mean, doesn't it? What else could it be referring to? Please tell me I'm wrong?

Something got lost in translation...

...when they made this Teletubby zentai.

For the purposes of comparison:

Hizamakura Lap Pillow

This actually isn't a sex toy, per se. Go figure.

Meanwhile in New Zealand

Alasdair Thompson, chief executive of the Employers and Manufacturers' Association (EMA), had an explanation for why women earn less then men.

Apparently it is because: "Women take more sick leave than men," due to their "monthly sick problems".

If you live on this planet and in this millennium you may have trouble understanding what this time-traveler from the Victorian era is referring to, specifically menstruation. He seems to think women routinely take days off when menstruating.

I imagine he is also concerned about the females' voluminous petticoats getting caught in the looms.

It seems that this asshat is going to resign.

My heart bleeds for him.

Perhaps I should take the day off.

Sketch: Strive

Happy Objectification Tuesday

Hot or Hot Mess?

This Cannes Ad Festival winning ad was never approved by Kia so they can't really be blamed either way.  Personally I think the ad is creepy and the fact it won suggests that the advertising elite (at least at Cannes) may be pretty damn creepy too.  (Click pic to enlarge).

The more things change....

In 1941 people preferred having a son to a daughter 38% to 24% and now in much more enlightened 2011 they prefer having ... a son to a daughter by 40% to 28% [Gallup poll]. With younger people being more prejudiced against girls than older people.

I wish Peapod would hurry up and deliver my vodka.

T-Shirt

CAPITAL T.

T-shirt.

It's named after the shape dickwad.

[/rant]

IMHO

There is something inherently wrong with the word "bazinga" appearing on a "babydoll" T-shirt.

Or is that sexist?

I have just done my compulsory anti-sexual harassment training at work and suddenly I can't tell any more.

What on earth is this advertising?

The Smart Girls Guide to Porn--book review

I was pleased to get hold of a review copy of The Smart Girl' Guide to Porn. I doubt I am the only woman out there with no conceptual problem with porn, but not a lot of success in finding anything worth watching either.I figured a smut pundit like Violet Blue might be able to point me in the right direction.

My main problem was that I didn't really need most of the book.  The first chapter is about how women do have sexual fantasies, thank you very much (I know). The second worked through a lot of the objections people have to porn (not me). The third chapter helped to prime a woman for her first purchase and viewing (been there and done that). So fifty pages into a 130 page book and I haven't really learned anything except that I apparently don't have the hang-ups that woman are "supposed" to have.

Chapter Four was a bit more helpful in helping explain why porn contains things that had been putting me off.  Although I had already discovered the answer to where the hot guys are: "gay porn" (p.57).  But a bit more insight into mainstream and indy porn making does help explain why certain tropes are repeated over and over, production values generally aren't great and BDSM has--until recently--been pretty rare.

Chapter Five gives some general hints about finding porn you'll like, and Chapter Seven covers some common categories and genres.Then we get some very basic info on internet porn and a chapter on watching porn with your heterosexual partner--because strangely the author doesn't seem to consider there might be some other possibilities. The web resources at the end have stood up really well given that the book came out in 2006, I only found a couple of broken links.

If you are in the early stages of timidly thinking that you might like to watch some porn, this may be the book for you.  If you are ready to get down to the nitty-gritty and stock up on all your favorite fetishes, I guess there's always Google.

Disclosure: Free review copy provided by Eden Fantasys, purveyor of fine erotic books and adult toys.

Prince Harry had become surprisingly hot....

...but is probably still a dick.

My eyes, my eyes...

Tennessee had made it illegal to "transmit or display an image" online that is likely to "frighten, intimidate or cause emotional distress."

I have a few suggestions of images that cause me distress.  I would like then banned forthwith.

God Hates Rainbows

Mississauga Catholic school thought they solved the problem of their students wanting pro-gay student organizations by allowing anti-bullying organizations instead.

They then showed how much they disapprove of bullying by banning display of the rainbow, banning or censoring pro-diversity material, and forcing the kids to give money raised for Youth Line to a Catholic charity instead.

A Little Roomy?

Amazon asks me to: "Rate this packaging."

I give it an F.

This is meant to look good?

Life Imitates Art (and Art Gets Sued)

Mexican "Duff"

Duff is the fictional beer from the Simpsons. No licensed version exists but several breweries have created a real "Duff" beer to fill the gap. As a result the Lithuanian publisher of the Simpsons comic was sued for "advertising alcohol".

D'Oh.